I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize