new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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