The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
