Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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