I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sext me about skeletons
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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