The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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