STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
