summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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