Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
