"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my being single is dangerous.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
