apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
