she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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