you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
