there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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