I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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