alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize