I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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