What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
