Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
birth control should be required to get into college
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
