I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
