I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The adults are the big ones right?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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