I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
