No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize