Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
