The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
