So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Princesses don't give blow jobs
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
