it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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