If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
