shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
