The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
