looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
