my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
