im having a threesome with these popsicles
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
