I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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