So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
