there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
