they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
