i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
