dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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