Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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