the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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