i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the day after is always just damage control
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
