How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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