anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
