I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
