listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
