Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
