You're my little dorito
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
