He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
