Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
