He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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