But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
