he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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