i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The uberlube is also flammable
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
