Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
