I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Green mimosas i think yes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
