he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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