If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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