this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
