You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
